Dr.George.Huang

I'm back.

2006-08-21T01:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry again all. I've just really not been in the mood to get on the computer and talk here lately and I am so sorry that I've neglected each of you. I also went to see one of my family members recently and everything went really well with that. But I am back now. So I hope to hear from everyone again. Take care.

Now that is funny...and not natural

2006-06-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

Out of sorts

2006-06-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

I haven't been myself here lately. I have had a few people email me and ask me where I was. Relationships with friends haven't been going quite as well as I'd like them to, as much as I try. The person that I speak of has been a close friend, but sometimes there are some things that just can't be fixed, even for a psychiatrist.

Stupid Questions

2006-05-23T08:26:00.000-04:00

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a oerson owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "Hi, my name is Bob, I'm an alchoholic."?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is their a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral wanter that has tricked through mountains for centuries have us by date?

9. Why do toaster always have a setting on them which burns you toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say. "I think I'll squeese those dangly things here and drink what comes out."?

11. What do people in China call thier good plates?

12. If the professor of Gilligan's Islands can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix the blasted hole in the boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on twof legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

14. What do call make ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's a billion stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it to find out?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, yet call it a hemmorrhoid when it is in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks head straight out the window?

Hope this made you laugh, I typed it out before I went to work so if there are any misspellings please forgive me.

Sorry guys...

2006-05-20T18:57:00.000-04:00

Well I'm back...sorry I've been out for a while I haven't been feeling well here lately and have not been in the office. I've been ignoring everything and everyone. I want to apologize to my friends at work too that TRIED to come by to see me. I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I did think John was going to come in and start pestering me though and drag me out of the house. He knows where I keep my key and how to get in my house, but he didn't come over to bug me. That actually surprised me. I was feeling better today so I called him and he came over, you would have thought he was my dad or something, he brought me food from McDonald's (I think he did it just to spite me, cause he knows that I don't like McDonald's). When I looked at him quizically he just laughed and got another bag from Burger King and said the food from McDonalds was for him. He brought me a sprite. I much would have preffered a bottle of Jack Daniels after the way I'd been feeling lately, but after my last little escapade, this was probably for the best. We sat down and talked, not about much really, of course he had to talk about work. This is what's best about the whole situation, he bought dinner again. I promised that we'd go out again and I'd buy next time, but we weren't going to that Ninja place, he just laughed and said okay.

Hate on Display

2006-05-18T20:29:00.000-04:00

I had a really good comment for this...but between blogger not letting me log in and how disgusted I am with this, I don't remember what I was going to say. (Could be the age thing to I suppose.)

This is for Elliot and Olivia

2006-05-12T21:41:00.000-04:00

This is something for each of you to look forward to. I know I'm looking foward to it too!

Baby kisses!

Mother's Dictionary...

2006-05-12T20:44:00.000-04:00

For the sake of Mother's Day...

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edfe of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at them.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independant: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pagamas.

Two Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words.

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Weekend: When dad gets to play golf while mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.

I got these from a friend and I though all you mother's might enjoy them, Happy Mother's Day to each of you and Happy Mother's Day to a very dear friend, Olivia Benson. Though you haven't had the baby yet, you're still a mom, so have a happy 1st!

.....

2006-05-11T23:45:00.000-04:00

Just because I feel like posting the American Flag today and maybe I can get Jules back over here to say hi.
So Jules, this flags for you!

Rumor has it..

2006-05-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

...that Carolyn told you about a doctor that I was talking about when I was drunk. I don't know anything about another doctor...I mean why would I be talking about another doctor? I work with them all the time, why would I be in a drunken stupor talking about a doctor? Speaking of doctor's though, I am glad Liz is back. It's been to long since we've talked. She hasn't even called me. Glad to hear about her and Edward though. Guess I talked to her enough about it, she actually told me to shut up once, or twice...or more.

New links...

2006-05-09T23:13:00.000-04:00

I've added several new links to my blog, I haven't added them all yet. I have not added one of my dearest friends in the blogging world and I want to apologize to her, I'm sorry Amy. I've added you know my friend. Also I was not able to find Marty's blog address, so Marty if you come by please let me know what your address is. If anyone else would like to be added also, please let me know.

George's Hangover

2006-05-09T01:40:00.000-04:00

This was not a good day...I think Carolyn convinced EVERYONE in the office to call my house, at least half a dozen times each, and I can almost swear I heard Eliott's voice once. The rest of them were just hang ups. I think I am changing my phone number now, only Don is going to know what it is. Not only did the phone ring like a zillion times today, they raided my fridge to, there was nothing in there. They're doing this on purpose, I have done something to them, I don't know what it was...but apparently I did something.....*looks around the house for food* there is nothing here! Now I have to drag my sorry hungover, no good ass out of the house in broad day light, with my ears STILL ringing, and get some food. I go to the store and get some macaroni and cheese and some hamburger meat among some other things, and I go ahead and grab so dog food, just incase. So I finally get back home, disconnect all the phones, turn out all the lights, decide I don't want to cook so I put a TV dinner in and I go to feed the dog and then realize...I don't have one. Oh geez, I'm glad Eliott isn't here to see this shit, he wouldn't be as nice as Carolyn, he'd be rolling on the floor laughing right now. And this Carolyn is why I never get drunk.... cause I don't think you've ever seen a Doctor this dumb, at least I can blame it on the alcohol, right?

Drunken George

2006-05-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

I got way to involved in my last case...way to involved. Usually I can disconnect myself from the cases and be able to go home and go to bed without actually having to have to dream (or have a nightmare) about them. This was not the case on this one. A you couple came to me and said Dr. Huang, we desperately need your help, our daughter came up missing last week and they did find her...but it was too late. We need someone to talk to, can you help? I told them that I would be happy to help. They told me that their daughter was going out everynight with some man that they didn't know. They described him to me, but I'll save that for the police and won't bore you with the details. Apparently he was smoking pot and had her our prostituting. They, being parents, were very worried, of course so they tried to keep her in which just made her angrier and made her rebel more. She was out often all night, when she did come home she smelled of drugs now herself and she had bruises. She ended up dead in an alley way, inside a large trash can. She'd been raped and strangled. The only reason that I am able to talk to you about this case is because the parents asked me to talk to everyone I could and let people know what kind of lunatics are out there. I had drank so many shots of whiskey that night and beer, I was in a drunken stupor, the only person that I could think of to call was Carolyn. So I called her up and she answered...

Carolyn: Hello?

Me: Carolyn, I need your help, meet me at, the Chill Lounge, it's between 38th and 39th. It's a good thing they have couches cuuuzzimmm gonnnaa paaaasss ouuut. Byyyyyye Carolyn.

I don't remember the conversation after that.....we may have had one on the way home, I don't know. That means I don't know anything I said. Uh-oh. That's kinda scary. Good thing it's Carolyn though.

Bowling...

2006-04-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

Bowling with Carolyn was a lot of fun, but I think I may have upset her. I started hinting about John, I really didn't want to bring up the situation, but sometimes I just can't leave work behind me. It's really hard when it's between friends (it's really hard anyway). Anyone in our line of business has to admit that. My sincerest apologies to Carolyn for that, she will talk when she is ready. I will not push, promise

On to my night with Carolyn though, we had a very enjoyable time. Yeah she beat me at bowling, MOST of the time. She didn't every time though. I am not lying about that and it did not go in the gutter THAT many times either. She was laughing at me the whole night, I did have to admit it was kinda funny though. It did not go in the neighbor's lane though, despite what she says. I'm honestly not that bad. Okay, so maybe I need the bumper pads on the sides of the lanes, but give me some credit here guys. Hey at least it didn't hit anyone and it least it didn't go flying backwards and I didn't fall on my ass. (Which is hard to keep from doing in those shoes, and BTW I took about 5 cans of Lysol to spray them before I actually wore them.) Those things smelled like skunk on a hot summer day after someone had just scared the bejesus out of them. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that bad, but it was bad. I went and got me and Carolyn a beer to drink and after the 20 or so of bowling we played, we played pool, in which I beat her. She may be able to beat Mike at pool, but she didn't beat me, and thing about pool, nothing about it stinks...unlike the shoes.

Monopoly??

2006-04-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

Oh boy, what is the deal with Monopoly? Okay like I was telling Elliot, I'd rather see the thing go down the garbage disposal. It was a childhood trauma, okay? I was 8 years old when it happened. It all stems from my stuffed animals beating me at this game. Well, they didn't really beat me, they somehow managed to dance around all over the board when I was trying to play, of course my cousin probably had a hand in that somewhere too. Then she'd just laugh at me and call me names. Until I'd hit her over the head with the Monopoly board and run out of the room, hey she was 36 years old!

Peronally, I like the game Clue, she could never manage to figure out how to put the little x's and o's in the boxes when you found out if something was right or wrong, and there has to be a person, place and weapon. Here is my game:

My night with John.

2006-04-25T00:37:00.000-04:00

I picked John up at about 8:00 and we head over to this place he recommended. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. He didn't even tell me the name of the place, I would have thought I was going to a Karate Club or something, so he gave me the address and I went. We get there and you know what the name of the place is? Ninja New York... I'm not even close to kidding. I looked at John and could only shake my head and remember thinking... Carolyn, you better hope I get out of here alive and don't get eaten by some man eating sushi or something like that. So we get into this place and they have ninjas for waiters, okay now I'm ready to pass out from laughing because apparently John has been here before and he is watching every single thing I do. We order and now I really am about to pass out, this stuff is expensive!! Okay so the ninjas do their little sword throwing, baton eating, magical mess...I'm not really even paying attention by now...I'm trying to talk to John and he's looking at them like someone that has just bought the last icecream on the hottest day of the year. I think I see drool coming out the side of his mouth. Ew! JOHN! JOHN! HELLLOO? IT'S GEORGE, WE NEED TO TALK, JOHN? Finally the man comes back from wherever he was. By now the food has arrived, and I see what he's ordered...it has octopus in it. Oh boy, I really jumped into it tonight...with both feet. However here is the conversation:

Me: John, what the hell are you eating? (Okay, sorry for asking the man went into detail).

John: Cobblestone of Octopus poached in White Wine Vinegar and Citrus marinated Sea Scallop, garnished with Garlic Sprouts and Tomato Concass? and served with a Cornichon and Parsley Sauce

Me: Oh. (might as well slap raw liver on my plate and call it supper, I think I'd rather have that please.) We have to talk about what's bothering you John. I see that you are down alot here lately. That's not you John, there is something going on and I'd like for you to talk to me and tell me what's going on so I can help.

John: It's just my past George, it's creeping up to get me.

Me: It tends to do that to us all, please be more specific.

John: I've been hurt by women before, and I've prided myself on being able to stay disconnected from them for so many years, that way I don't get hurt, and if the relationship doesn't work out for some reason, my pride doesn't get hurt. But I really like this one, and it isn't just me that I want to keep from getting hurt, I don't want to hurt her either.

Me: John, you've got to have some faith and believe in yourself and everything will fall into step behind it. You have some great characteristics.

John: Like what.

Me: You can make anyone laugh, without even trying. You are very kind an gentle to the ladies around the office. I think I've noticed someone eyeing you around the office to, but I can't be certain, so I'm not saying anything.

John: Yeah I know, but I've really messed up already.

Me: Give it a chance John...I think if it was really meant to be everything will fall into place if you give it a chance.

John: Thanks George.

Me: Your welcome.

Then guess who took off running and who got to pay the bill...yeah, I was standing out by the curb when he walked out. He didn't have the smile he walked in with, but he wasn't mad. Hey, at least I didn't leave him stranded!

For my friend Amy.

2006-04-24T00:29:00.000-04:00

Let's put a smile on that pretty face Amy!

Our Rights: The following was written by State Representative
from Cobb County, GA

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to
help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice,
avoid anymore riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive
behavior, and securethe blessings of debt-free liberty to
ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines
for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, basically lazy people. We
hold these truths to be self-evident:

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV,
or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the
channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of
idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do
not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your
relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just
not interested in health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of
other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right
to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching
conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift
a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we
do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend
so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a
military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard
times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities
of education and vocational training laid before you to make
yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness,
which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an
overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights.

Things you'd rather not hear during surgery.

2006-04-20T13:59:00.001-04:00

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor-we're going to need a mop.

Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!!

Wait a minute, if this is the spleen, then what is that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.

Oh, no. I just lost my Rolex.

Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Shoot-fire, this guy's got two of'em.

Everybody stand back- I lost my contact lens.

Could you stop that thing from thumping; its throwing my concentration off.

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses...

Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...?

And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.

What a day!

2006-04-16T23:29:00.000-04:00

I have had quite a day today! The kids at the office that I've told you about...Rachel, which is the one that I've told you the most about and I've also mentioned Michael I believe, amount about 15 others (or more, or it seemed) I invited over to my house. Liz came over too. They children had alot of fun...even Liz and I had fun, but all of those children and only 2 adults will definately wear you out.

Our day went like this... between me and Liz we managed to get all of these children new Easter dresses and tuxes, they looked sharp, they aren't used to that so they were very happy and thankful and kept hugging us all day. We took them to church that morning, where they heard the choir sing and the bells play, it was beautiful, even the sermon was great. They even had an Easter Bunny there, but "the silly Easter Bunny was late". They had their Easter egg hunt at church. Each found alot of eggs.

We came back to my place and had an Easter egg hunt there also. Each child had their own name marked on a certain egg. If they found their own egg, then they got a special piece of chocolate of their choosing, all of them being imported. After the Easter egg hunt was over we went out and enjoyed ice cream cones together.

After the kids had all gone "home". Liz and I grabbed some of Elliot's coffee, because we had to make a quick stop by the office. Of course we were asked by everyone how the day had gone, we just answered, "it couldnt have been better", and left with about 5 cups of coffee.

Liz and I hadn't been able to talk in a long time so when we got back to my house we sat on the backporch and talked for hours, we didn't talk about work, she didn't talk about Edward (which would have been okay if she needed help, but I was thankful I have to admit, it was nice sitting outside, avoiding work altogether for once) Liz is my closest friend, and also someone that I work closest with, since she is a fellow psychiatrist. I think she probably needed to avoid all of this also. By the end of the day we were both tired. She didn't feel up to driving home, so I let her sleep in my bed and I slept on the living room couch. It's great to have Liz for a friend.

Interview with the Easter Bunny

2006-04-16T08:46:00.000-04:00

(This is kinda long, but worth reading)

With the possible exception of Santat Claus himself, there is not a busier mammal on the face of the earth than the Easter Bunny. Once a year, the Easter Bunny hops into the home of hundreds of millions of boys and girls all over the globe, dropping off chocolates, candy and eggs as part of the celebration of Easter. Our Staff spent a few minutes with the Easter Bunny as he was preparing for this year's task, for you a tell-all no-holds barred interview. If you thought you knew the Easter Bunny, you just may be surprised.

Our Staff: Thanks for talking to us

Easter Bunny: No problem. Do you mind if I eat while we talk? (takes out a packet of small green pellets) I've been in a rush recently.

OS: Go right ahead. We've got a list of questions here, compiled from our members and I'll just go down the list if you don't mind.

EB: Ready when you are.

OS: The first question comes from Ted in Dayton, Ohio. He writes: "We all know that Santa's Workshop is located at the North Pole. Does the Easter Bunny have a workshop, and if so, where is it located?

EB: Well, Ted, the answer is yes, I do have a workshop. It's located in San Bernardino, CA

OS: San Bernardino?

EB: That's right.

OS: You have to understand that most people would have figured some place like Easter Island.

EB: Have you *been* to Easter Island? What a rock! It's the single most isolated piece of land on the planet. By the time we shipped fresh eggs there, we'd have chickens. Besides, San Bernardino has the sort of motivated labor pool we need.

OS: Elves?

EB: Laid-off aerospace workers.

OS: They would seem overqualified.

EB: Maybe. But now we have some lovely chocolate stealth bombers.

OS: Our next question comes from Cindy in Tempe, AZ. She writes: Why is the Easter Bunny a bunny? Why couldn't it have been the Easter kitty or the Easter Puppy?

EB: That's a very good question. In fact, in the late 70's, we as an organization decided to play around with the whole "bunny" thing by recruiting prominent local animals to deliver Easter baskets. In 1978, when the experiment was at its height, we had an Easter Bunny, an Easter Coyote, an Easter Manatee and an Easter Komodo Dragon.

OS: What happened?

EB: It just didn't work out. The Komodo Dragon ate the eggs, the Coyote just flaked out and the Manatee, if I may say so, was just about as dumb as a stick. There were some other problems with the same program too. The less we talk about the whole Easter Man-Eating Benggali Swamp Tiger episode, the better. Now we stick with bunnies. We know bunnies. We can work with bunnies. Bunnies don't eat anyone.

OS: Bob in Honolulu, HI asks: "Is there just one Easter Bunny? Moreover, has the same Easter Bunny been the Easter Bunny for the last couple of millennia?"

EB: The fact of the matter is that there are quite a few Easter Bunnies, and we've never made a secret about that. Unlike the Santa Claus operation, which works under the improbable assumption that one guy delivers all those presents.

OS: Are you saying that Santa is a sham?

EB: I didn't say that. I never said that. What I am saying is that *we* don't work under the same sort of constraints. I mean, think about it. One bunny delivering baskets to several hundred million homes accross the planet? The friction from the atmosphere alone would turn the poor guy into a bunny briquette. There'd be hideous charcoal smudges all over the baskets. "Easter Bunny" is a job description, not a proper name. It's like "Postal Carrier" except our employees very rarely disgruntled.

OS: So why are you THE Easter Bunny?

EB: Because I'm the boss. You're not an Easter Bunny until I say you are.

OS: How does one become and Easter Bunny?

EB: Well, It's not just hopping down the bunny trail, I'll tell you. First, for reason already explained, you have to be a bunny. After that. we have a psychological evaluation and a battery of physical tests you have to pass. We can't afford to have an Easter Bunny cramp up at the beginning of his run.

OS: Any famous rabbits turned down for the job?

EB: I don't want to name any names. But one bunny who's making a living in the breakfast cereal industry, we had to let go. Any time a child would try to get an Easter basket from him, he'd back away and start snarling. He was a silly rabbit. Easter baskets are for kids.

OS: He seems to have gotten better since then.

EB: Prozac helps.

OS: Albert from Coeur d'Alene, ID. wants to know what are the occupational hazards of being the Easter Bunny.

EB: There are several. Large dogs are always a problem, of course: one moment you're delivering a basket of goodies, the next, a Rottweiler name Pinochet is on you like a meat filled sock. Nervous homeowners with guns wing a couple of bunnies a year, as do edgy cops and private security gaurds. We don't even bother trying to delivery to children of militia members anymore; first they'll plug you for being on their land, then they'll make you into jerky and a pair of gloves. But you know what our number one problem is?

OS: What?

EB: Sliding glass doors. Sometimes we'll just forget they're there. Man, that's embarrasing.

OS: Here's an interesting question, from Amy in New York City. She writes How does the Easter Bunny get along with Santa Claus? It seems like Santa gets all the attention, and I have to say I did notice some tension earlier when you brought him up.

EB: (Looking uncomfortable) Well, you know, look. I don't want to say anything bad about the guy. He does what he does, and I do what I do. Professionally, we get along fine.

OS: But privately?

EB: Is that tape recorder turned off?

OS: Uh.....sure.

EB: He's a big ol' pain in this bunny's bottom. For one thing, he's a prima donna: always me, me, me, where's my highball, where's my corned beef sandwich, tell this dumb bunny to get his own dressing room. I'd rather be trapped in a sack with Joan Crawford. For another, he's totally paranoid of other large men. He thinks that Luciano Pavarotti is trying to move in on his territory. Last year it was John Goodman. He actually danced when Orson Welles kicked, waving his pistol and bellowing "Rosebud!" from the top of his lungs.

OS: Wow. He seems a little scary.

EB: You think? And yet he gets all the publicity. Why? We do the same job. Mine's actually tougher, since I'm moving perishable stuff. You can't have bad eggs or stale chocolate, you know. Folks wouldn't stand for it. I have to maintain strick quality control. The only food product he has to worry about is fruitcake. You could tile the Space Shuttle with fruitcake.

OS: We're sure you have your own fans.

EB: It's like opening for the Beatles, is all. And he *is* the walrus, if you know what I mean.

OS: One final question, from Pat, in Rockford, IL. "Does the Easter Bunny actually lay eggs? How does this happen, since the Easter Bunny is both male and a mammal?

EB: Well, the platypuses are mammals, and they lay eggs. So it's not impossible.

OS: That still leaves the male part.

EB: We're quibbling on the details here.

OS: Maybe there should be an Easter Platypuses.

EB: Sorry. Tried that in '78.

Happy Easter!

2006-04-16T01:30:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter to each of my friend out there on blogger and also to my co-workers. I have sent all of co-workers a box of cookies from Cheryl and Co. (which by the way are delicious!)

Slow down idiot!

2006-04-13T23:52:00.000-04:00

This road traffic warning sign gets straight to the point...

Some one sent this to me today... do you think they were trying to tell me something?

Reality

2006-04-12T23:00:00.000-04:00

Think I would look good in this? Maybe I should "personalize it" to say something else. What do you think?

A Monkey's Uncle

2006-04-12T22:33:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOD!!! Rachel has never drove me this batty! She kept playing A Monkey's Uncle (it's a Disney song). I was ready to break the CD. She played the thing about 50 times full blast, and I couldn't hide from her because she had a portable radio and she kept chasing me around saying Uncle Jo-Jo, sing with me! I just wanted to disappear today, normally I love playing with her and talking. Really though, playing A Monkey's Uncle 50 times would be enough to drive an insane person even more insane. You wouldn't think that possible.... believe me, it is!!

"Elly"

2006-04-10T18:56:00.000-04:00

What a day...Rachel came in this morning screaming "UNCLE JO-JO, HEY UNCLE JO-JO...WAAAAAKKKKEE-UP!!" Without thinking I went and got some of Elliot's coffee, I told Rachel that I was going to have to sit down and wake up before we could play. Apparently I'd fallen asleep in one of the beds at the office the night before, I didn't even want to try to make it home as tired as I was. So I sat down in a chair with Elliot's, oh so famous coffee and took a drink, then another...for some reason this isn't as bad as I remember it. It was actually really good...maybe all of these times I THOUGHT it was Elliot's coffee and it wasn't. Then I really got to thinking...UH-OH, he is never going to let me live this one down. Just then Rachel walked in and asked me..."Hey, didn't Elly make that coffee? I thought you didn't like it." (I tried to hide the cup...didn't work.) Well...that was the end of the game she wanted to play before, she now has a new one...Hide and find Elly (I hide the cup...she goes to find "Elly").

Jess

2006-04-10T00:02:00.000-04:00

I went and visited Jess' blog today (she is new to blogger, please make her feel welcome). She made a good point. She could only be herself, and not anyone else. That she is going to live it up, because she has only one life. My statement to her (and each of you)is...be yourself, you are the only you anyone can be, no one else can be you. I'd also like to add to that, you are a unique person and a very special person, don't ever forget that. You're a beautiful person inside and out and don't let anyone tell you any different. Take care of yourself and just be you!

Inside Man

2006-04-09T17:16:00.000-04:00

I went out and watched the inside man today. GREAT movie! I seriously recommend that you watch it. Of course I'm not critic. I have heard the critic's rate it pretty well also. Here is a run down on the movie:

Cast: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer, Chiwetel Ejiofor (to name a few).

NYPD hostage negotiators Detective Keith Frazier (Washington) and Bill Mitchell (Ejiofor) are dispatched to a bank heist perpetrated by Dalton Russell (Owen). But the canny crook has a meticulous plan to disorient both the cops and his hostages. Soon, Frazier begins to think that Russell isn't working alone, suspicions that aren't eased by the appearance of Madeline White (Foster), a mysterious power broker who wants a private meeting with the thief. The bank's director (Plummer) is inside the building, and it's possible he's not on the up-and-up either. With lives at stake and a crowd of curious New Yorkers outside, Frazier can't afford to make one wrong move.

Labels

2006-04-08T19:13:00.000-04:00

I was speaking with a friend who had e-mailed me today. I am not going to name names. The subject rather disturbed me, as we all know it's there, but we don't want to face the fact that it's there. Even we label people. Once people are named for who they once were, they are named that way for life. Say someone has raped another person...that is the way they are labeled, forever they are labeled as a rapist. They are a pedifile...that is the way they are labeled, so they should never be trusted around children. Even policeman...they labeled as bad, which I don't understand, because they are there are to protect you. and to keep you safe. You stop and think who's fault it is when you get pulled over by a cop for speeding or when you get pulled over for being drunk, when you get in the car next time...it isn't the policemans. What is the deal with labeling people...I understand that sometimes it is for safety and security...but after awhile, can't these people be trusted again... at least somewhat?

Also for a person that has a mental health problem, and has been checked into a hospital. Why are they labeled a mental...always? And when they express frustration, they are having another "episode?"

The Captain

2006-04-06T20:00:00.000-04:00

The captain pulled me aside this morning and he told me , George, I need your help. Imagine that, your captain telling you HE needs MY help. Of course I was happy to help him. He told me that Olivia had come into his office and asked for another partner, he said that if he paired either one of them with someone else that they wouldn't be the detectives they are now. He was afraid to take Olivia from Elliott and vice-versa. He wanted to know what I thought. I told him that I couldn't be the one to judge that, he was the captain and he was the one that could make the best judgements and I honestly should be relied on to make that call. He told me that he wasn't relying on me, and it was going to be his decision in the end. He was simply asking my professional opinion. I thought for a little bit, not knowing whether I should actually get myself into this discussion, because I knew if I gave him my answer I'd have to explain why. How do I know this? The answer to that question is obvious...I'm a psychiatrist, I do it for a living! However, back to Olivia, Elliott and the Captain, since they are the topic of this post to begin with. Here is my reply "I think Olivia and Elliott work as a great team, however Munch, Fin, Olivia and Elliott all work together also. You might try have her work with the others more and with Elliott less, I am not saying take them away completely. I would think that would be a mistake. They take care of each other and watch out for each other. They are great partners. But like you said Captain...this is not my call, don't rely on me to make that decision. You do what is best for Olivia, Elliott and the rest of the squad...without putting others in jeopardy."

Misc. Comments

2006-04-06T00:33:00.000-04:00

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.- Sidenote- I do not agree with this one, the Titanc sank, the Ark did not.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Worried

2006-04-05T00:21:00.000-04:00

I am worried about Elliott and Olivia. Olivia got her throat cut, and Elliott just had to leave her there to chase the perp. Even though she told him to go, he didn't want to, he loves her too much to leave her side. However there was a child involved also, so he went ahead and went after the perp and trusted Olivia that she would be okay. I wasn't there at the warehouse when they were, but I was told by the sniper that was there that the intensity was so thick between the two of them you could have cut it with a knife. Then Olivia walked into Cragen's office and asked for another partner. I never would have thought that would have happened. Looks like I've got my job cut out for me. I don't mind in the least though, not for two of my closest friends and co-workers. I'll do all I can to help them out. (Maybe we can keep them as partners.)

Tom and Jerry

2006-04-05T00:01:00.000-04:00

I wasn't any good at playing Tom, but my highest score at playing Jerry was 2400- Good luck!

Tom and Jerry game.

Mike

2006-04-03T18:56:00.000-04:00

Mike says Carolyn is a whiner...seriously guys, you should have seen her desk. You wouldn't have been able to find the swamp monster under all that garbage. Bad thing is there's a trash can sitting right by her desk. A BIG one. I made sure to put it there. Really though, Mike is a great guy, a little messy granted, but that aside, he is a great detective. I thought I'd tell you that because I rag on him alot. Oh....and don't tell him, he didn't eat all of those donuts himself. I stole, oh I say about a couple half a dozen. You didn't hear that from me though.

Wendy...

2006-04-02T15:27:00.000-04:00

There was a little girl at an orphanage and she had been gone for awhile. A little boy had asked he where she had been because he hadn't seen for quite some time. She had told him how she had been an orphan and that when the adults came by they always looked and acted their best. One day she had gotten adopted and she thought things were going well and she was happy, until one day she came in and her backpack was in front of the door and her coat was draped over it. Right away she knew what it meant. She looked up and she saw the people from the orphanage standing in front of her. She explained this to a little boy of the opposite sex...at that age, they are considered "the enemy".

Carolyn's favorite movie...what is it?

2006-03-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

Carolyn...not one word. Let them answer. (No cheating guys and gals!)

Lola Bunny cheers on the team.
Void (left), Zilch (center) and Null (right) gang up on Tweety.Don't worry,
everything turns out all right.
Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd take aim.
Bugs and Daffy creep around Michael Jordan's house.
Taz interferes with the prompt delivery of the mail.
Bugs and Michael share a water bottle.
Daffy Duck makes his way from the tub to the stage.
Taz loses his composure.
Michael Jordan sits helplessly as Bugs soliloquizes.

No therapist

2006-03-30T11:44:00.000-05:00

That's it... we are going to sit down and have us a little party this afternoon. A little popcorn party. All Jack can talk about is popcorn...popcorn this...popcorn that. He keeps it up, he is going to drive ME nuts! (Hey popcorn and nuts sounds good...hmmm) Anyways, maybe it will help Elliott out, get his mind off things...especially the coffee thing. May even help out Olivia, then again it might make her sick. Don't need her leaning over brother John this afternoon. She already did that because of Elliott's coffee this morning. Good thing I decided to take my own coffee this morning, don't say anything next time before I go to work Elliott. But sorry guys we won't have a therapist to keep us entertained this afternoon. Amy isn't a therapist, but if she lived her in NYC, I could go and pick her up. She would definitely keep us entertained with her sarcasm. We need to get Liz and Edward over here too. Liz just moved and Edward is talking about bathtubs and is upset about Liz.

Intercepted Message

2006-03-29T21:17:00.000-05:00

First off this has nothing to do with my post... it has to do with Elliott's coffee. Someone seriously needs to help teach him how to make it. I think he is putting too many coffee grounds in it, cause it is STRONG!

Speaking of Elliott... I think he was trying to send an e-mail to Olivia this morning and accidently sent it to me. It was quite the entertaining e-mail, but I won't embarrass him with giving you the details. But the man does love her and he is looking forward to the baby. He's still scared though. I'm going to have to sit him down and have a serious chat with him. Tell him really is a great father and he is going to do fine. His kids love him to death, and Kathy agree's with me (and will agree with anyone else in the office) that he is. She just couldn't handle the hours was working. Kathy really is a great person, but sometimes she is a little hard to understand, even for me.

5 Stages of Drunkenness

2006-03-24T22:44:00.000-05:00

Stage 1- Smart

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2- Good Looking

This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person ablout any subject under the sun.

Stage 3- Rich

This is when you suddently become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck foll of money parked hehind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4- Bullet Proof

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with who you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 5- Invisible

This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people you fancy necause the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

Shiver Me Timbers!

2006-03-21T19:17:00.000-05:00

Whoa! Huck, huck, huck (Yeah, I didn't know how to spell that.....so?) I didn't know either it had been THAT long since I'd posted. Shame on me. Guess I'd better eat me spinach, regain me strength and get me act together, aye matey? I will post my answers to Amy's interview questions as soon as I can. I have a young man here (8 years old) named Matthew, he just lost his parents so I have been talking with him. I've been very busy. So I'll be back with you as soon as I can. He does seem to be doing better so doing better so don't fret your pretty little heads. Here's a little Popeye for ya!

I'm good to the finish, cause I eat me spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor man! Toot, toot!

Ways to annoy your co- workers.

2006-03-14T19:56:00.000-05:00

I think I'll break this up in groups because there are alot of these.

Talk loudly while on the phone if it's a business call so they ALL know you're working.

Put a piece of clear tape over the bottom of their mouse to stop the ball from moving. See how long it takes them to figure it out.

Hum songs like "Mary had a little lamb" until the subconsciously pick it up and start humming to.

Spike the coffee with salt, and mix in sure in with the salt.

Collect dead thing like flies in a jar and keep it on your desk. It will be sure to gross out someone.

Insist on being addressed by your job title instead of your name.

When a coworker approaches, pick up the phone and start talking. If they try to talk to you anyway, roll your eyes and say into the phone. "Can you hold on for a moment, I have a really rude coworker trying to talk to me when I'm clearly on the phone." Then stare at the coworker annoyed and demand to be told what was so important that you had to put someone on hold for.

Don't wear deodorant so you stink, or drench yourself in perfume\aftershave.

Prank call your coworkers by phoning and hanging up. This works best when they are across the room and have to run for the phone.

Leave plastic figurines on their desk when they're not looking.

If they bump into your or have any sort of contact with you, glare at them and mutter something about sexual harassment in the workplace.

Send them memos every hour to keep them posted on what you're doing, or what they should be doing.

Respond to everything they say with a question, and when possible, work in "Is this good for the company?"

Have your email set to emit a stupid sound when new messages arrive. Crank up the sound, go to another part of the office where you won't be seen and start emailing yourself.

Use the intercom\paging system to ask a coworker to contact you instead of just phoning them directly or turning your chair just to talk to them. (This works really well if their desk is beside yours.)

Ask someone to do something for you, and tell them how to do it. Then when you return, say they did it wrong and do it a completely different what than you had told them.

Mess up the settings on their monitor.

Good place for a pee.

2006-03-14T19:20:00.000-05:00

Someone sent me this in the email the other day. Sorry, I don't recall who sent it.

2006-03-13T21:20:00.000-05:00

Rachel came running to me today, crying her eyes out. Yelling Uncle Jo-Jo, Uncle Jo-Jo. She had little creases in her face, so obviously she'd been sleeping. You know the kind I'm talking about, the kind your pillow makes on your face when you lie down. It seems she'd had a nightmare about her parents, who had just left her in a cold dark house one night. The only way that we found her is someone happened to be passing on the street and heard her crying. She was soaking wet and dirty. She looked like she hadn't been bathed in a week. Thankfully the person that found her, brought her down to my office. We put her in a foster home and I have been helping her. But she still has reoccuring nightmares every once in awhile. But she is the sweetest little girl you've ever met. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, most of the time.

Quiz

2006-03-13T03:06:00.000-05:00

Law and Order quiz

Input.....

2006-03-13T00:37:00.000-05:00

I'm going to let the next post be up to you guys, you let me know something you want to hear. I'm game. Are you?

As for an interview.....well that one's up to Amy.

(Not going to make it that easy for you dear.)

More Sarcasm

2006-03-12T19:23:00.000-05:00

14 Things I Could Hate About Anyone

I had to create a new category just for this one. Read on and you’ll see why! lol
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the is yours?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entireroom for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat ittoo”… damn right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?
4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”… Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people dothis? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a movie “did you see that?”… No idiot, I paid 10 bucks to come to the theater and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”….Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is ‘new and improved!’…Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say “life is short”…What the hell?? Life is thelongest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?” .. If the bus came would I be standing here, oh stupid one?
10. People who say things like ‘My eyes aren’t what they used to be’. So what did they used to be? Ears, Rubber boots?
11. When you’re eating something and someone asks ‘Is that good?’ No it’s really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that’s an image I really didn’t need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you if you don’t insert the ‘Mc’ before the item you are ordering….. It’s has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I’ll get a McStraw and Mcjam it in your McEyes you McRetard.
14. When you’re involved in an accident and someone asks ‘are youalright?’ Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.

Per my conversation with Amy.

2006-03-11T20:40:00.000-05:00

Per my conversation with Amy for the last 2 days. We've been talking about The Wizard of Oz, apparently she likes the Monkeys. Rachel of course liked the good fairy and the munchkins. Me? The monkeys WERE a great a great additions to the show. But I liked the tin man and the tiger and the other dude. Anyways, what was yours?

The Doc's in the house.

2006-03-09T23:07:00.000-05:00

I didn't think doctor's were supposed to play tag. Can I tag my patients. I don't know they may not like that too much. I'm supposed to comfort them, not come up to them and say "Tag, you're it!" Oh well, here goes nothing.

1. Do you have a nickname? (other than your blogger nickname).Yes

2. If so what is it? Jo-Jo

3. What is your favorite memory as a child? You mean I grew up? When did that happen?

Well that was a new's flash.

Generally spending time with my family I suppose.

4. What relative did you like the most?

My dad. He was always so much fun. We went fishing and camping, etc.

You know, the things most little boys do with their dads.

5. Who is your best friend? I've spent alot of time with Liz, so I suppose that would be my answer.

I am tagging Liz, Bogus, Bella, Shadow and Jules.

After you answer the questions you have to tag 5 people.

This is done Amy, but not forgotten.

Overheard.......

2006-03-08T01:16:00.000-05:00

Overheard at the International Medical Convention

An Isralli doctor say "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we take a kidney out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in 6 weeks."

A German doctor says "That is nothing, we can take a lung out of a person, put it in another and have him looking for work in 4 weeks."

A Russian doctor says "In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person put it in another and have them both working in 2 weeks."

The Arkansas doctor, not to be outdone says "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of Arkansas, put him in the white house for eight years and now half the country is looking for work!

What inspires you?

2006-03-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

This one really makes you think. I'll post it and then give my thoughts. Tell me what inspires you, I'm really interested in learning about you. I won't analize it, I promise.

Our greatest battles are that with our own minds. - Jameson Frank

I've seen this too many times, it's like someone is mentally arguing with themselves. Not physically. (Even though I've seen that too).

They tell themselves, I think that I'll do this......well, maybe not today, or maybe

that's not such a good idea.

I'll do it tomorrow.....but if I put it off I know it won't get done.

You mentally stuggle with yourself, you battle with your own mind.

Why do you think it gets on your nerves so much when someone else argues with you?

Your turn!

For Amy

2006-03-05T22:00:00.000-05:00

This one is for Amy. She was the first to welcome me to the blogging world, and I love sarcasm as much as she does, so enjoy my friend!

Lady walks into an ice cream parlor on a hot day.

"I'd like a gallon of chocolate ice cream", she says.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we've had a run on chocolate in this

weather and we just ran out. We've got 30 other flavours, so

please pick one of them." replied the clerk.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have a quart of chocolate then."

"Ma'am, perhaps you didn't hear me. We are completely out of

chocolate ice cream, but I'll be happy to sell you another flavour."

"Oh. Better make it just a pint of chocolate then."

The clerk has had enough at this point and asks, "Listen, lady,

spell the 'VAN' in 'vanilla'."

The lady is puzzled, but replies "V-A-N".

"OK, now spell the 'STRAW' in 'strawberry'.

She says. She slowly replies, "S-T-R-A-W", still not sure what he's up to.

"OK, now spell the "FUCK" in 'chocolate'.

" She looks at him and says, "There's no 'fuck' in chocolate!"

He shouts back, "That's what I'm tryin to tell you, lady! There's no

fuckin chocolate!"

2006-03-05T16:11:00.000-05:00

Picture from www.despair.com (followed from Liz's post).

Optimists are people who wear out their shoes, just figure they are back on their feet.

I love the way Robert Schuller differentiates between the optimist and the pessimist. An optimist calls a half glass of water "half full", a pessimist "half empty."

The reason is simple. The optimist is putting water in the glass, the pessimist is taking water out of the glass.

It's almost a universal truth. Anyone taking from society with no real effort to contribute to society is pessimistic, because he\she feels there won't be enough for him\her.

The person who is doing his\her best and is making a contribution is optimistic and confident because he\she is personally working on the solution.

What is the best medication?

2006-03-04T19:09:00.000-05:00

You might be surpised to learn that the best medication is laughter.

According to the helpguide.org, laughter has the following benefits: It reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, elevates mood, boosts the immune system, and improves brain functioning. Another benefit not quite so easy to quantify is that laughter connects us to other people, and makes us more attractive to be around. This is beneficial because isolation is one of the worst things you can do for your health.

"Laughter," Cousins said, "may or may not activate the endorphins or enhance respiration, as some medical researchers contend. What seems clear, however, is that laughter is an antidote to apprehension and panic.

People who had had heart attacks were compared with people who had not. The people who'd had heart attacks were more likely to deal with an embarrassing situation by becoming hostile and angry rather than laughing, and were less likely to laugh even in a positive situation.

2006-03-03T23:42:00.000-05:00

This is a great medical reference, you might want to book mark this page. You might need it, especially if you have small children. (Or children at all for that matter.)

There are tabs on the left hand side you may click on according to whatever you interest may be.

Click here.

Dreams

2006-03-03T23:13:00.000-05:00

A nightmare is a disturbing dream that causes the dreamer to wake up feeling anxious and frightened. Nightmares may be a response to real life trauma and situations. These type of nightmares fall under a special category called Post-traumatic Stress Nightmare (PSN). Nightmares may also occur because we have ignored or refused to accept a particular life situation. Research shows that most people who have regular nightmares have had a family history of psychiatric problems, bad drug experiences, people who have contemplated suicide, and/or rocky relationships. Nightmares are an indication of a fear that needs to be acknowledged and confronted. It is a way for our subconscious to make up take notice. "Pay attention!" Click here for a more in depth look at nightmares.

I wanted to bring that one to everyone's attention, because it more common type of dream. For more information on dreams, click here, there is even a discussion forum if you feel so inclined.

Matters of the Heart

2006-03-03T20:18:00.000-05:00

Matters of the heart are a very touchy subject. Matters such as family, friendships and even your past.

Lets start at the beginning.....family, you speak about your family. What they have done for you in the past. What they haven't done for you in the past. Some need someone to listen, a couselor a confidant, a friend or maybe even a stranger, so they feel they aren't going to be judged.

Friendships.....something that is dear to your heart, something you don't want to lose. When you lose a close relationship. It's very personal to you, like you've lost part of yourself. A friendship is something that is cherished and loved, something to be held dear to your heart.

The past that you don't want anyone to know about, or the past you want to share, but you are afraid no one will listen or will reject you once you speak about them. Something that may hurt when spoken aloud, feeling you may (or may not) be judged.

All of these are a matter of the heart, and are close and personal. It's up to you who you want to share your heart with, when and where. Remember, when someone wants to talk with you about it, just listen.