For my friend Amy.

Let's put a smile on that pretty face Amy!

Our Rights: The following was written by State Representative
from Cobb County, GA

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to
help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice,
avoid anymore riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive
behavior, and securethe blessings of debt-free liberty to
ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines
for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, basically lazy people. We
hold these truths to be self-evident:

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV,
or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for
everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the
channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of
idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If
you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do
not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your
relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just
not interested in health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of
others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of
other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right
to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching
conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift
a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we
do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend
so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a
military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard
times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities
of education and vocational training laid before you to make
yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness,
which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an
overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights.